Skip to main content

My first resolution


Another new year is approaching. Like every year, I have been thinking quietly what I should put down as my new year’s resolution - good or bad, I never owned a new year’s resolution. Somehow, it never occurred to me that I should take a stance on how I should live my life. Even though my life, I must say is somewhat unstable. My actions sometimes do cause me pangs of anxiety for reasons I am not proud to disclose here. I know, not everyone is flawless and this thought has me skipping the resolutions year after year. However, this year I want to take a stand on how I should live my life. This New Year I want to tame my actions and I want to reflect on the past. 

When I look back to the past five years of my life, I admit I have come a long way, some path smooth some not so much. Good events have happened too. I married my long time boyfriend, completed my masters’ degree, I am blessed with a beautiful baby girl and had a stable career in the development sector. Both my husband and I have done wonderfully well until I decided I had to break the glass ceiling and become a manager. Finding a job and working as a manager, has not been what I had hoped. The job itself was supposed to be the best thing that ever happened to me. The anxiety ridden unforeseen path I embraced despite my husband and my friends warning me about the difficulties ahead, did not help. What helped is that I embraced what I have and learned to accept because not everything turns out as planned. Therefore, this year my resolution will be to listen, listen to my loved ones and my well-wishers and to take time to reflect upon my life.

Long ago, our family was dining in a restaurant when the waiter repeatedly asked for forgiveness for messing with our orders. My brother in law politely said, “If only you had listened to our orders carefully you wouldn’t have to seek our forgiveness.” The lesson I learned that day was that listening was an equally important ally for not committing blunders – forgotten repeatedly. 
Had I listened I would not be writing this piece today because this leap of faith has taught me a valuable lesson in 2012 – there are people who actually care and people who care will often give the right advice. Hence, I no longer mock the irony of free advice and most importantly, I learned, time heals everything because what would life be without the imbalances. 

Until this year, I never made resolutions because I strive to keep my word. Had I made resolutions year after year only to break them I would not be true to myself (a personal choice but difficult to maintain). One of the favorite resolutions among my friends and family is to quit smoking and losing weight. Everyone knows how the story ends. Resolutions do not need to be public declarations; it can be a private affair if one chooses to.

Therefore, I urge every one of you reading this article to continue making resolutions while taking time to reflect on your past. I do not want to elaborate on my new year’s resolution because I have chosen one of the hardest one. It is easy for me to narrate my misery, my achievements, and my life in whole but let me tell you it is equally difficult to lend an earnest ear to those who want to share. Nevertheless, I will try because this New Year I want my friends and family to know that I am here to listen without judgments and assumptions – I will truly listen for my sake. 

Before I sign off, one free advice for the sake of 2013 taken from the excerpts by Erin Joy Henry, ‘A truly wise woman knows it is her duty to listen to the women that came before her, and continue to pass the torch.’ Happy New Year 2013!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A letter to my future teenage daughter

My dear daughter, you are only seven today but you will soon be seventeen. And when you become 17 I know the world will no longer be the same for you and I. We will be together in the same house but we will be distant apart in our heart and head. I was once 17 you know. And like everything else nothing is constant so before you grow up too fast I am writing a letter to you and the million other 17 year olds just like you. Love life - you are going to fall in love - hard. So hard that you are often dizzy with love. A love that is insignificant but withholds you from achieving all your dreams. Dreams that you dreamt when you were barely ten. Dreams that your parents dreamt for you when they first held you in their warm loving arms. Dreams that your mother dreamt for you when you were just a tadpole in her growing tummy. You are 17 and you have just graduated high school. At the verge of becoming an adult. You think you are big enough to make decisions and that you know the best f
14 comments
Read more

Dreams pursued

My precious Photo: Shradha Giri Last night my nine-year-old and I held hands and cried. We then laughed and then cried again. This isn’t something we normally do – our daughter, our precious one who was quiet for a change sat still, listened to what I had to say. The thing is, I have decided to change my career at this age and it is creating a ruckus which I didn’t think of earlier. I guess no one thinks through until the day one starts working on the decision. I decided a year and a half ago that I would invest in a school. Both my husband and I danced at the idea one idle weekend. We didn’t think of the distance - 500km. A year and a half spent running to banks, local ward office and to tax departments, the deal was done. Just like that with considerable amount of loan on my shoulders, I became a part of the system where I have always wanted to make a difference. I spent the past two weeks in my new role and I was baffled by what I observed (I also spent a few nights c
8 comments
Read more

Oh boy! women bleed

Menstruation is a taboo. No one talks about it. Women do not openly purchase sanitary napkins. We pretend we don’t menstruate. We refrain from talking about our period at homes and at work places. I have always tried to reason with the stigma vis-à-vis the biological fact a female body goes through. Like how men have beards when they hit pubescent - girls bleed. What’s the big deal I repeat? Often, families and friends laud the teenage boys for sprouting one line moustache or a goatee. The boys are identified for being macho and finally a man. On the contrary, families hide their girls when they start their first period, ashamed when their bodies provide proof that the girl is perfectly healthy and normal. These young girls go on to believe that their bodies have betrayed them. They coax their bodies because suddenly it has made them impure. They can no longer mingle with the other sex openly; they must be mindful and often face exclusion from family functions. They are forced to a
9 comments
Read more