A letter to my future teenage daughter

My dear daughter, you are only seven today but you will soon be seventeen. And when you become 17 I know the world will no longer be the same for you and I. We will be together in the same house but we will be distant apart in our heart and head. I was once 17 you know. And like everything else nothing is constant so before you grow up too fast I am writing a letter to you and the million other 17 year olds just like you.

Love life - you are going to fall in love - hard. So hard that you are often dizzy with love. A love that is insignificant but withholds you from achieving all your dreams. Dreams that you dreamt when you were barely ten. Dreams that your parents dreamt for you when they first held you in their warm loving arms. Dreams that your mother dreamt for you when you were just a tadpole in her growing tummy. You are 17 and you have just graduated high school. At the verge of becoming an adult. You think you are big enough to make decisions and that you know the best for you and everyone else around you. You have a boyfriend whom you adore and approve of 100 percent. Only you don't know what's in store for you. Research says that girls are often the ones who lose track of self when they fall in love and that boys despite going through all the hormone rage still manage to perform better academically. When you are 30 or 35 and look back at the love you adored; no longer adores you or your career. And that you have fallen off the wagon so deep that you cannot raise yourself and get back to the start line again. Life is a race. If you do better people will like you. They will adore you. But if you fail academically intoxicated with love you won’t have anyone to fall back. Because you can't go back time and score better grades to get back in better college. When you don't get in a good college, you don't get a good start in your career. Therefore, when you fall in love head over heels be sensible and think. The boy you love will love you back equally or more if they truly love and care for you. Jerks will never love or care for you if they don't. So don't kill yourself over someone if your instincts tell you otherwise. And here quoting Michelle Obama again, “No boyfriend is important than your homework.”

Career - if you don't know what you want to study in college after high school take a semester break. Many people don't know what they want to do after high school or in fact college. If all your friends are enrolling themselves in management classes, you don't have to. If everyone is going to USA or Australia, you don't have to. Just because everyone else is doing it - you don't have to. What we fail to see is that we are all individuals and that when it comes to humans nothing fits all. There isn't a tested or tried formula that works. What works is knowing your interests. Definitely not choosing courses based on the amount of money you can make. Yes, money plays a big role. All of us want to make money and grow rich but like I said earlier nothing fits all. That is why it is important to reflect on who we are. I know this sounds so cheesy but I wish all the high school students took a year break and had the opportunity to explore and see their city, village, country or basically just take a stroll to a different part of your town every single day. Think, sit back, relax and really understand oneself. Had someone told me this when I had just graduated high school trust me I would judge that person insane immediately but having been there and done that I wish we listened just for the sake of listening. When you know what really makes you happy take the plunge and immerse yourself into those courses that even they get a little scared of you for being so passionate.

Family - you can choose your friends but you cannot choose your family so true that it kind of hurts. What can you do with your family when at 17 all they seem to be interested is to be on your back 24/7. Remember each family is unique like I said earlier there is no formula to being the right kind of family. When at 17 you feel like your family is the weirdest by the time you are double that age everyone else's families seem weirdest but yours. So the point is give your family a break especially your parents. They want nothing but the best for you. And yes there will be comparisons because that's what we humans do. Being positive helps but then when your cousins keep coming at you from left and right then you need to distance yourself because trust me they never stop - they always have the right kind of excuse to make you their worst.

Friends - friendships are important period. At 17 there is nothing more important than your friends and their acknowledgement. But when you put your interests above everything else than you are bound to be broken at every step. Therefore when you have the liberty to choose your friends choose them wisely. Because you do every wrong in the eyes of your friend’s parents. Basically you are the worst influence for your friends from the way they project you. I bet you do the same - your friends have boyfriends/girlfriends but you don't. Your friends smoke but you don't. Your friends are obnoxious but you aren't. To make friends and to nurture that friendship for a long period of time is a tedious task. But if you can manage to respect your friends and take responsibility for your actions you will automatically be a good friend and good friends are hard to come by. So choose your friends wisely when you have the liberty.

Success & failures – there is bound to be failures when you succeed. But don’t beat yourself. And this is the best I can write on this because I am learning too. Maybe I will write you another letter when I turn 50 and learn more about life’s success and failures but for now all you 17 year olds - focus on school and engage in as many extracurricular activities you can lay your hands on.

But for now and then I will be your mother who adores and loves you. Although you will do no wrong in my eyes you will be judged at every step of your life. So darling little one wishing you have a wonderful 17.