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Bangles and more


Why do I fail to impress my near and dear ones time and again? For the record, my latest failure was during a Teej party.  I happened to wear a beige kurta oblivious to the fact that everyone around me was wearing red. Don’t get me wrong I do wear red kurtas and sari often and I love the colour red. But I do not understand the importance of wearing red in each and every festival. Why do we ostracize other colours that are equally rich and vibrant? I fail miserably coordinating red coloured clothes with our festivals and believe me it is not intentional. But it is so simple; the only colour I need to coordinate with all our festivals is RED. So why do I fail to accomplish such a simple task time and again?

No, I do not blame it on being huddled at a boarding school in one of the hill stations in India for years from the tender age. I do not blame all those years of not being home when Teej came around. I was deprived of enjoying the celebration of woman hood and bonding over delicious foods and increasingly extravagant parties.  Although I was a happy kid in school; I have complaints now. Now that I know how much fun women have during Teej; I miss the many years of detachment from one of the main events of celebrating woman hood, marriage and prosperity. Teej is a festival dedicated to goddess Parvati commemorating her union with Lord Shiva, celebrated for marital bliss, well-being of spouse and children and purification of own body and soul.

But this is not just about wearing red, praying and fasting. The culture of celebrating Teej, which should have been a part of my upbringing sadly was not. The tradition of exchanging intricate red glass bangles, beeds and tikas among married women is a beautiful gesture of sharing the joys of marriage. Friends and families get together to enjoy days of good food, fortune, dancing and a whole lot of gossiping making them bond stronger strengthening their relationships further. Teej manages to do what other festivals fail to. Teej provides women the freedom to celebrate their marriage with their own sex and without any intrusion. Teej is a dynamic festival as even unmarried young girls celebrate the festival sometimes with more vigour than their married counterparts.
Despite its grandeur, I fail miserably to connect from within with the Teej festival. I personally encountered Teej for the first time in my life at the age of 27, the same year that I was married. Although it is difficult for me to wholly accept Teej at this point in my life, I wish I was exposed to this beautiful festival from a small age. The importance of being attached to the cultural nuances and that of Hindu religion was never a part of my upbringing.  However, I also appreciate the importance it has on women in Nepal and I am slowly bringing myself to enjoy it. The celebrations of Teej have progressively changed over the years, and in a way it marks the empowerment of women in the society. 

Despite my ignorance and my detachment, I love Teej for all the parties, the delicious foods and the shopping, women dancing, I love everything about it. I make it a point to participate in all the Teej functions and celebrate being a woman with a hint of red.

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