Clothes maketh the wo(man)

The importance of being Ernest, 1995

This morning I checked out a book titled ‘The Emperor’s Clothes’ for my 6-year-old. I remembered an old school play our juniors had performed. I wasn’t a part of the drama (told you I was a late bloomer check my senior school play pic ;)) but I couldn’t wait to see how our school would dress the naked emperor. Obvious it was a skin colored body suit. Duh!

And then move forward 20 years and here we are in 2016 still reading news about how women should dress up. The burkini in France created quite a stir and then the Tourism Minister in India came up with a wittier way to combat rape in India – women should not wear skirts especially the foreign women. Remember one of the televised US election coverage where Elizabeth Warren and Hillary Clinton shared the stage. Ninety-five percent of the coverage was about how these two ladies dressed up similar in sky blue shirts and trousers forget that both these powerful women talked about women empowerment and creating jobs and security for women and children. And then some media channels went on to focus on their shirts and

the eerily similar get up while the men we watch on TV are always wearing a darker colored suit, white shirt and a red or blue tie. Nobody talks about what the men wear. But for some or other reason the way women dress up is actually every one’s business. That’s the international arena.

Let’s move on to the local setting. Remember when you were small and wanted to be hip and all people said was - it’s the shoes. I know shoes maketh the wo(man) but c’mon it has always been about the way we dress. As a Nepali woman have you ever been a victim of controversy because of your footwear choice? That’s right – never!

I believed we should wear whatever we want keeping in mind the comfort factor. But women don’t always get to do what we want forget that we know best how to treat or clothe our bodies.  For instance, I could never do it right. It wasn’t red or yellow enough. It wasn’t long enough. I remember being at the receiving end when my kurta wasn’t red enough during one of the teej day. I don’t get the red color fixation we Nepalese approve of. It has been the same in office too. I have had sneer comments hurled at me for sometimes dressing up like a school girl, a model (thank you) or simply a Hindi film heroine going for a shoot in the snow (this for wearing a woolen cap on a cold January day). A female colleague was told by a male colleague that she distracted the male colleagues because of her tight shirt, and she was one of the least endowed. Lol.  

A colleague recently commented that men prefer their girlfriends wearing skirts and half pants. But as soon as they get married they or their family immediately puts a rein on the brides as to how they should dress up from then on. Imagine living in someone else’s home and then having strangers (well not exactly strangers but now their family too) hurling rude comments every time these girls dressed up. And because we have grown up in a society and homes where small girls are discreetly told to wear longer half pants and cover up more as we get older we get the message. A friend’s mom once asked me how my parents let me wear half pants. I replied I have always worn half pants. It never occurred to me that that would be an issue until I was married.  What is it with our families? They can tolerate their daughters wearing short clothes but freak out when their daughter in laws wears one – split personality I reason (or crazy). I honestly don’t know why we are so hung up on how women dress up. I think for starters; women should give younger women a break. I think men would just follow suit.

And while every comment upset me because I am the kind of person who has to overthink a zillion things – I have noticed people now comment less. I must be doing something right I tell myself. But then when news break about men dictating how women should dress up all over the world - I cringe. I may never get it right.

And there once was this emperor who roamed naked but nobody dared say a word. Lol!