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Awkward Teej lunch

Yesterday was one of the most awkward lunches I have ever had. You all know it was Teej and here I was tagging along with my husband and my 6-year-old to the famous KFC in Durbarmarg. Well the place isn’t for vegetarians it’s after all famous for fried chicken. I was the only other female present in the entire restaurant besides the employees. The other lady dressed casually in a red salwar suit sat with her male companion but she refrained from eating. And there I was chowing down the famous zinger (only wishing they had the spicy one too) kind of awkward.

I had like zillion thoughts in my head running thinking wondering what the guard and the employees of KFC thought about serving me chicken in Teej while the rest of female longed for the day to end. Majority of women observe fast on this day to exclusively lengthen their husband’s lives. I have reasoned many a nights thinking how my lifestyle choices affect my husband’s health and life. Thinking aloud that I would run a 100 miles every day if the benefits showed up in my husband’s body. I would sacrifice many a meals consisting of meat products if it actually made my husband healthier. Well the thing is if I run, it benefits my body not his. And if I fast I may lose 000.0001 percent of my body fat but his won’t budge. So just considering the ‘what I know for fact’ and evaluating the traditional rituals I have reasoned enough to understand for sure that only I can affect my life and not anyone’s. So what on earth are we women fasting for?

There must be reasons beyond my imagination for the faith and the ritual that has passed on hundreds of years with which I cannot reason. Sadly, not long ago, women had to kill themselves if their husbands died early in the name of “Sati”. Widows were often and still considered a bad omen if they are present in auspicious Hindu events. Child widows after losing their husbands would have to live in ashrams devoting their lives to the service of temples and fulfilling the sexual desires of pervert sadhus and saints. Even today if a woman loses her husband she is often ostracized by the family and the society.

But what I know for sure is that this isn’t merely about our husband’s long lives but because women are dependent from every aspect – financially, socially and physically – this is about promoting gender discrimination. The lives of our male partners matter much more than the opposite sex, it is a discriminatory fact.  Because women are weak economically from every aspect – from inheriting parental property equally or at all to being a second class citizen in her husband’s family to losing her identity and failing to pass the legal citizenship to her children. She, we, women are weaker and hence act on every religious day/festival to pray for our husband’s health and long life.
Had it been the other way around. Had we had the rights to inherit our parental property just by being born a girl. Had we the equal rights to pass on our legal identity to our children without our husband’s name. Had we the right to live in our parental homes without having to move into our husband’s homes. Had we the equal right to live the lives of our male partners’. Had we the right to just live without judgements of simply being a woman – there would definitely be a Teej but I bet the significance of the festive would be much more gender friendly and we would end up fasting for our own long and healthy lives. The boys would have one of their own special Teej and an opportunity to fast for their long lives!

 PS: The girl with the chicken leg isn't me ;)

Pic credit: http://www.coreconnectionlifestyle.com/why-i-wont-make-you-stop-eating-general-tsos-chicken/


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