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After a decade of updating my older smart phones with newer costlier ones only to loyally keep checking my Facebook page I decided to quit Facebook cold turkey - one fine day. I knew I would inevitably melt down with anxiety and hallucinations that I felt the urge to cling harder to my Instagram (sigh!). For a few days I wondered what those people who frequently showed up in my wall were up to? Did they attend another party? Did they meet secretly at first and announce in their wall about their meetings with their few favorite people. Did someone just flip and suddenly decide to rant about their loved ones? Or did they just give up on everything and started uploading selfies every two hours. Funnily (and sadly) I realized I cared less. And that how little anyone else cared about my life displayed shamelessly in their walls sans their consent.

 A day later the thought of a digital companion whom I followed so closely for the last ten years didn’t seem to matter anymore. The persons I knew and the person I was to them ceases to exist in my real life. I remained the same for everyone else; except I was a changed person to me. I had more time. In fact I had all the time in the world. I didn’t know if I was to stare at people and not expect them to talk to me or look up to me in my eyes from their iPhone screens. Or should I just be a part of their lives like how I have always been – just there.

After yearning for approval in the digital world for such a long time it feels surreal to expect the same from the people I live with physically. No one is showing me a thumbs up or a smile when they see me. But then this is how it is supposed to be right? Who in the real world ever showed up their thumbs up when we walked in to our office all fresh in the morning or when we enter a pub all decked up. Is it then we realized the longing for undivided superficial attention in our social digital pages? I don’t know. But what I know is that we are constantly seeking approval not just for the way we look (sounds so vain) but also for a single email we might have written which took us an hour to construct just to make sure the tone is/was professional.

No. Seeking for approval isn’t bad. But when our lives revolve around it, it definitely isn’t good either. The time I have freed for myself has been a blessing. I now have time to exercise for a full hour which seemed impossible earlier. I have read countless books including Mrs. Chatterley’s lover. The title definitely sounded like a nice romantic book which I tell you isn’t but the title baffles my seven-year-old – she has promised to read this particular book when she enters adulthood. I tried my best to release her from her promise in vain. 

Chatting with the locals in Melamchi, pleasure was all mine!
I don’t want to make a point.  There is no point. The social pages do a lot of good not just in connecting humans but also generating billions of dollars in business for millions. And I sure am not judging any soul for using it for whatever purpose they are using it for. I feel free period. I have freed myself from the chains I had garlanded so ferociously and also I am deeply ashamed of popping up in so many people’s lives unknowingly/uninvited.  In the process I have also freed my conscience to not pry over the lives of so many people I care in my real life and only learn and share about each other when we care to - in person. This isn’t a resolution; I know you are reading this right before the new year rings in. Because old habits die hard just wanted to share that I am taking a ten days break to bask in the sand and sea J. Happy holidays ya’all and wishing you all a Happy New Year 2017!
Next time you see me kindly raise your thumbs up it sure means a lot and no I am not promoting the fizzy drink.

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