Skip to main content

The fault in our biology?

Let me say this first. I was a late bloomer. I had my first period when I was 14 years old while almost all my friends had had their periods when they were barely 11. So while these girls bled, while these girls complained of having to change their pads in the coldest nights of Kurseong I prayed for my own periods to show up as fast as possible. By the time I had my periods I was about to sit for my 8th grade final examinations. You can imagine my excitement. I knew the rituals to precision. I walked to the dormitory and announced the big news. The finals were over and it was time for winter vacation.  

During the vacation one fine day my periods showed up. So when my sister and my mom learned the news I thought I would be taken care of and loved. I had no idea they would pack my bags and send me to my elder sister’s house because traditionally I wasn’t allowed to see my father or my brothers. So there I was living with my elder sister who of course was kind enough to treat me normal. Since then, every month I wasn’t allowed to touch the fridge or whatever was cooked. I felt secluded, I felt discriminated and angry. Every day I felt like I had to defend myself for going through what my body is supposed to do – natural, hormonal, biological. From that experience I vowed to myself I was never going to tell another soul about my periods because frankly it was nobody’s business.

I loved playing sports and I didn’t want to just sit and chat during my periods while I had the whole field to run about. My periods didn’t ever hold me back from doing things I loved. And somehow I got my head to believe that my periods were a good omen. Because the first time I had my periods was right before my finals in November and I passed with flying colors. I credited my pass marks to my periods and every time my periods showed up before or during important events in my life I knew everything would be just fine. Even to this day if I am going for a job interview, or taking a flight (I am terrified of flying) if my periods show up I know I am going to be fine. Despite our periods being associated with all the negative connotations I truly feel it was and is a good omen because believe it or not all good things happen when I am bleeding.

We girls didn’t ask for it to happen to our gender specifically. I know most of the women refrain from receiving blessings during the Dasain if one has periods or won’t participate actively in other religious festivals. Unfortunately, many of us resort to pills to delay our periods which has repercussions – women bleed either heavily the next month, their next period is going to be ruthlessly painful or their whole period cycle gets messed up.

My question to you all beautiful, strong, educated women is why do you want your body to go through another painful episode when you have done nothing wrong? That is why it is important for women to understand our body and its functions not from the religious and pious point of view but from the biological angle. Imagine if we didn’t have our periods, we would not be able to bear a child. Our hormones would act weird and we would be branded abnormal. Respect your body for what it is and for what it can do. Respect your body for all its bodily fluids. Imagine if we didn’t pass stool for 2 or 3 days max, our body would stop functioning normally. Wouldn’t it? Imagine if you didn’t bleed, for god’s sake there would be no humans. So why are we ashamed of bleeding?

I respect every one of you who has the conviction to believe that us bleeding during the festivals and our mere presence turns the festival unholy. I respect your belief. Because to have that level of conviction you have to be special and I respect you. Only special people can have that kind of consistent belief against their own being for simply having their periods. I have convictions too and I believe too. I believe that my monthly periods have nothing to do with all the festivals. I have been enjoying these festivals for the last two decades and I will continue to enjoy them because I also believe it doesn’t do me bad.

Just because our body obeys the biological clock doesn’t mean we need to stop ourselves from enjoying the festivals which comes once a year. So this dasain if you are scared of having your periods don’t be – its biological. Don’t go against the nature. Embrace your body and enjoy the tika. Respect your body because no other human being has the right to violate our privacy.






Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A letter to my future teenage daughter

My dear daughter, you are only seven today but you will soon be seventeen. And when you become 17 I know the world will no longer be the same for you and I. We will be together in the same house but we will be distant apart in our heart and head. I was once 17 you know. And like everything else nothing is constant so before you grow up too fast I am writing a letter to you and the million other 17 year olds just like you. Love life - you are going to fall in love - hard. So hard that you are often dizzy with love. A love that is insignificant but withholds you from achieving all your dreams. Dreams that you dreamt when you were barely ten. Dreams that your parents dreamt for you when they first held you in their warm loving arms. Dreams that your mother dreamt for you when you were just a tadpole in her growing tummy. You are 17 and you have just graduated high school. At the verge of becoming an adult. You think you are big enough to make decisions and that you know the best f...
14 comments
Read more

Dreams pursued

My precious Photo: Shradha Giri Last night my nine-year-old and I held hands and cried. We then laughed and then cried again. This isn’t something we normally do – our daughter, our precious one who was quiet for a change sat still, listened to what I had to say. The thing is, I have decided to change my career at this age and it is creating a ruckus which I didn’t think of earlier. I guess no one thinks through until the day one starts working on the decision. I decided a year and a half ago that I would invest in a school. Both my husband and I danced at the idea one idle weekend. We didn’t think of the distance - 500km. A year and a half spent running to banks, local ward office and to tax departments, the deal was done. Just like that with considerable amount of loan on my shoulders, I became a part of the system where I have always wanted to make a difference. I spent the past two weeks in my new role and I was baffled by what I observed (I also spent a few nights c...
8 comments
Read more

Oh boy! women bleed

Menstruation is a taboo. No one talks about it. Women do not openly purchase sanitary napkins. We pretend we don’t menstruate. We refrain from talking about our period at homes and at work places. I have always tried to reason with the stigma vis-à-vis the biological fact a female body goes through. Like how men have beards when they hit pubescent - girls bleed. What’s the big deal I repeat? Often, families and friends laud the teenage boys for sprouting one line moustache or a goatee. The boys are identified for being macho and finally a man. On the contrary, families hide their girls when they start their first period, ashamed when their bodies provide proof that the girl is perfectly healthy and normal. These young girls go on to believe that their bodies have betrayed them. They coax their bodies because suddenly it has made them impure. They can no longer mingle with the other sex openly; they must be mindful and often face exclusion from family functions. They are forced to a...
9 comments
Read more