lost friend

The mud and brick house reflected the sunlight rays. The reflection was so warm I could have stayed there without moving forever if only someone ensured I wouldn’t miss out on the bigger fun. I often hung out with my brother’s friends as I didn’t have any of my own. Rabindra a common friend in my brother’s gang of boys was nice, he didn’t mind playing with me despite the fact that I was a girl. This particular memory of him and I playing together is so sketchy sometimes I worry if I have conjured it up in my own little head. Then I think out loud, why I would imagine something that didn’t happen? It is not like I was hopelessly in love with him or ever yearned to play with him.

I remember this thirty second frame so well that today I decided I should type it finally. One day I believe it was after lunch all my brothers friends were playing in our neighborhood. I was there I remember vividly. Suddenly, someone mentioned Rabindra had a collection of stamps and that he would share it with us. All of us were super excited. My own brother collected stamps so I was naturally happy for him. As for me I didn’t care if I would like a stamp or not. Neither did I care about collecting them. The thing is I didn’t have patience back then either. If an interest clicked I wanted everything to be complete at once losing the humor that collecting anything takes time. So there I was without any friends of my own tagging along with my brother’s gang of boys and not caring how Rabindra would satisfy all of us with his stamps distribution. 

So we waited outside his house. Someone called out his name. He peered out of the second floor’s window. All of us looked up and started screaming his name asking him to give us the stamps he had promised. He said something. I recall he was gesturing with his little hands for us to wait. We kept shouting for him to hurry. And in no time the stamps were gliding in the air. The white ones reflected against the sun rays making them invisible for a second and then reappearing again. All of us were gleaming hoping to grab as many as we could. Somehow the stamps glided in slow motion and before I could realize what had just happened – the stamps were gone – all of it. 

I didn’t realize until then what it would feel like to not have a single stamp. My brother and his friends were smiling ear to ear counting how many each had. The noise faded and I was standing there without a single stamp. I was tremendously sad immediately. The sun no longer warm I felt a great injustice was bestowed upon me and that it wasn’t fair.  I looked up and Rabindra was still there staring at us. 

He noticed I was terribly sad and I made sure my sadness was visible. Just then he called out my name and I looked up again. He smiled and showed me a stamp waving his hands at me. I smiled. The world moved again. I don’t exactly remember what I did with the stamp but he surely did save me from being miserable. I went to a different school and never saw him again. 

I met him almost 22 years later right after I had come back from the states. He had come with our neighbor as our house were full of guests – after all it was my wedding preparation. My neighbor introduced us, we greeted each other casually nodding our head. He still looked the same only grown up. I didn’t think about our meeting – I was too busy. I don’t think we even talked. Last night while I was preparing to fall asleep this memory of stamps falling down from his windows appeared so strong I knew immediately I had to note it down before I forget the little details. 

I missed an opportunity to reconnect with my old friend that day almost 8 years back. Here is what I have learned. If I ever meet any of my childhood friends I will definitely seize the opportunity to reconnect. I hope you will do the same.